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So You’ve Broken Up

November 2, 2007

Hi.

Let’s just say that I’m one of those concerned citizens.

You express your problems much in your blog, and the past three entries you’ve put up have actually shown how depressed you are. I see how much the situation has affected you, and even on your first post, I can actually read how frustrated, pissed, helpless, desperate, annoyed, and constipated you are. I’ve been passing by your forum since that little “incident” you had with your girlfriend.

Yes.

You’ve broken up.

I’m not here to make fun of you, nor am I here to make you realize that what you’re going through should be cut short and you should just move on. I know.. It’s hard to do. I am here to, at least, make you realize that there are people affected with what you’re going through.

I’d like to first start with your ex-girlfriend.

I honestly feel that you are trying to reach out to her ever so implicitly. Hoping against all hope that she gets to read your blog and then suddenly realizes how helpless you are without her, and then she’ll come back to you. Or she sends you an SMS telling you how sorry she is for ever doing you wrong, and then asking if you and her can actually come back, and everything will be whoop-dee-do again.

Trust me, if ever she comes back to you because she pities you, you wouldn’t want it. You would feel incomplete.. And so would she. You can’t force someone, explicitly or implicitly, to fall in love with you. And you can’t wallow in your sorrow hoping and praying for a miracle. Think about how much this would be affecting her conscience.

You couldn’t get mad at her, or so I heard. But I can feel your attempt to build up guilt on her. You say how depressed you are, how you feel like you want to die, you want everything to end, how pissed you are about the other guy, how in love you are with the girl, I see much scolding there. If I were to speak in tagalog, “nagpaparinig ka, pare.

I admire your chivalry: As long as she’s happy, then it’s all right. It shows that you’ve matured already. But I don’t think she would remain happy if you were to remain that way either. Do not make her forget who you are.

Next we’ll talk about your friends.

You’re actually a nice guy. I could tell by the way your friends are showing their concern to you. You are an important personality to your circles of friends. Hold it. This depression is one part of your life, but not the whole thing. This is not who you are, but it develops you. Don’t make your friends forget who you are.

Next, about you.

This is your first time. It’s okay. There is always one. And going through this has always proved to be the hardest because of our inexperience. We rationalize things as though we were children. For those who have gone through what we’ve gone through, and have fully understood it, our reasons sound shallow, incomplete, immature.

Learn from this experience. It’s one of those fruits in life that you would get to learn more about yourself, and what you would be like when you suffer – would you give up on life just then and there? Stand up, learn, study about yourself, if you couldn’t do this by yourself, get your very well supportive friends to help you.

Being depressed can not be avoided. Don’t worry, it’s normal. But do not drown yourself in your misery. Self-pity is most ignored because it is annoying. It is not wrong to think about yourself, but also consider those around you, whom you have made happy – don’t bring them down too long. This is, after all, more about yourself. Do not forget who you are.

There is one thing I learned, and I learned hard and cruelly: “Don’t share your problems with other people, eighty percent don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad you have them.” – Lou Holtz

But of course, there are exceptions to that statement.

Well that’s about it. I feel this isn’t all of what I wanted to say. Hey! If ever I do get to think of something better, I’ll just make a new post. This letter was made anonymous in my attempt to at least get the attention of anyone experiencing this much depression. I apologize if I sounded offensive, one-sided, irrational, and immature. πŸ˜‰

Yours,
Dru

Edit 2013/07/24: No sources support the original Kurt Kilpatrick quote of “Don’t share your problems with other people, most of them don’t care and the rest are elated you have them.”

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From → English, Thoughts

9 Comments
  1. good points.

    i would like to think that i’m a good listener and that i’m quite generous with empathy. but i could only take much whining. πŸ˜€

    not to trivialize your friend’s problem, i do think that a broken heart is not so easy to manage or to ignore. cliche-y as it may sound, we do uncharacteristic (ie stupid) things because of love and, most of the time, it brings out the worst in a person. but yeah, the true test of maturity is when you stick with a decision (in this case, to let go) and then be brave enough to suck it up and move on. dragging other people into the fray just sounds too juvenile to me.

    dru:
    True. If one shows too much of pity for one’s self, it starts to look bad.

  2. you speak with wisdom. all the person needs right now besides good friends who truly understands is just time.

    dru:
    I do hope he stops hurting himself.

  3. jojie permalink

    dru!!!! ano nga ulit?? πŸ˜† namiss kita.. πŸ˜‰

    sino itech?

    dru:
    Waaaa! Ate jojie!! Namiss din kita!
    Di mo kilala eh. hehehe at alangan sabihin ko sa buong mundo kung sino siya. :-/ hehehe!

    Musta na po?

  4. OT: tagged you! πŸ™‚

    hehehe nakow… hirap nyang broken hearted fes na yan… but just let ur frend be.. some people need to be stupified for awhile.. let him do what he wants to do to “relieve” the pain.. but if it takes too long na and he’s making an ass of himself.. then it’s time to give him a little spanking.. tough love πŸ™‚

  5. kengkay permalink

    you are a good friend, dru πŸ˜€

    dru:
    Aww thanks ate kengkay. ^_^

  6. wow! what a post! i loved it. may natutunan ako.

    but there is a time for everything. time to hurt but later on, may time to heal din. just let him go through the process of feeling every pain kase mas masarap at ma-a-appreciate mo ang MA-IN LOVE pag naramdaman mo yun pain ng pagiging broken hearted.

    bilib talaga ako sayo when you write stuff. πŸ™‚ more power!!!!

    dru:
    Sorry len at ngayon lang ako nakareply. Maraming salamat sa suporta. The more you fall in love, the more you become vulnerable. Kaya masakit at mahirap kung bigla biglaan lang din magbreak.

  7. coyang dru, wala naman itong kinalaman sa post na to… pero gusto ko lang sabihin na napansin kong kahawig ng lower profile mo (na nasa masthead ng blog mo) ang profile ni ely buendia πŸ™‚

    dru:
    Wow! Maraming salamat sa comment niyo po! Chin down po ba ang ibig mong sabihin? hahahaha πŸ˜›

  8. I TRIED to quote this in one of my entries! heheheh πŸ˜€

    β€œDon’t share your problems with other people, most of them don’t care and the rest are elated that you have them.” – Kurt Kilpatrick

    I think all you really want to say and all he really needs to know is to “S.I.U.”

    Suck It Up! heheheh πŸ˜€

    dru:
    Hey.. THAT’S 3 words for the whole thing. πŸ˜† You win! Hands down! hahaha

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