So You’ve Broken Up

Hi.

Let’s just say that I’m one of those concerned citizens.

You express your problems much in your blog, and the past three entries you’ve put up have actually shown how depressed you are. I see how much the situation has affected you, and even on your first post, I can actually read how frustrated, pissed, helpless, desperate, annoyed, and constipated you are. I’ve been passing by your forum since that little “incident” you had with your girlfriend.

Yes.

You’ve broken up.

I’m not here to make fun of you, nor am I here to make you realize that what you’re going through should be cut short and you should just move on. I know.. It’s hard to do. I am here to, at least, make you realize that there are people affected with what you’re going through.

I’d like to first start with your ex-girlfriend.

I honestly feel that you are trying to reach out to her ever so implicitly. Hoping against all hope that she gets to read your blog and then suddenly realizes how helpless you are without her, and then she’ll come back to you. Or she sends you an SMS telling you how sorry she is for ever doing you wrong, and then asking if you and her can actually come back, and everything will be whoop-dee-do again.

Trust me, if ever she comes back to you because she pities you, you wouldn’t want it. You would feel incomplete.. And so would she. You can’t force someone, explicitly or implicitly, to fall in love with you. And you can’t wallow in your sorrow hoping and praying for a miracle. Think about how much this would be affecting her conscience.

You couldn’t get mad at her, or so I heard. But I can feel your attempt to build up guilt on her. You say how depressed you are, how you feel like you want to die, you want everything to end, how pissed you are about the other guy, how in love you are with the girl, I see much scolding there. If I were to speak in tagalog, “nagpaparinig ka, pare.“

I admire your chivalry: As long as she’s happy, then it’s all right. It shows that you’ve matured already. But I don’t think she would remain happy if you were to remain that way either. Do not make her forget who you are.

Next we’ll talk about your friends.

You’re actually a nice guy. I could tell by the way your friends are showing their concern to you. You are an important personality to your circles of friends. Hold it. This depression is one part of your life, but not the whole thing. This is not who you are, but it develops you. Don’t make your friends forget who you are.

Next, about you.

This is your first time. It’s okay. There is always one. And going through this has always proved to be the hardest because of our inexperience. We rationalize things as though we were children. For those who have gone through what we’ve gone through, and have fully understood it, our reasons sound shallow, incomplete, immature.

Learn from this experience. It’s one of those fruits in life that you would get to learn more about yourself, and what you would be like when you suffer – would you give up on life just then and there? Stand up, learn, study about yourself, if you couldn’t do this by yourself, get your very well supportive friends to help you.

Being depressed can not be avoided. Don’t worry, it’s normal. But do not drown yourself in your misery. Self-pity is most ignored because it is annoying. It is not wrong to think about yourself, but also consider those around you, whom you have made happy – don’t bring them down too long. This is, after all, more about yourself. Do not forget who you are.

There is one thing I learned, and I learned hard and cruelly: “Don’t share your problems with other people, most of them don’t care and the rest are elated that you have them.” – Kurt Kilpatrick

But of course, there are exceptions to that statement.

Well that’s about it. I feel this isn’t all of what I wanted to say. Hey! If ever I do get to think of something better, I’ll just make a new post. This letter was made anonymous in my attempt to at least get the attention of anyone experiencing this much depression. I apologize if I sounded offensive, one-sided, irrational, and immature.

Yours,
Dru