If I Were A Girl

If I were a girl, I think I’d be pretty. I would have my mother’s features, and her slender fingers and toes. I would have my hair up to my shoulder, wavy-straight and neat. I might have some bangs on, I would not probably be chubby. My belly might not be as firm as it is, but the curves would still there. A doctor once told me, “If you were a woman, you’d still be very sexy.”

I might still be the joker that I am, it is in our family after all. I might still be very thoughtful and friendly, because that is how my father raised us. I would be more loving, I guess, because I’m sure my mother will train me. My brothers might protect me a lot, and I would be the darling of the family. I would be partly spoiled, and partly disciplined, and partly trained to be a leader.

If I try to picture myself now, a wig will definitely not do.

 

My face has grown manly, and I am far from being gay.

Fat chance!

They Wouldn’t Stop Calling Me Emo… So I Sat In The Corner And Cried

May sinabi si Maru.. Oo.

May sinabi siya.

At naiinggit din ako!

Kung magbasa ako ng blogs ng ibang tao, ma-insecure ako minsan. Hindi lang tungkol sa pag-express ng kalungkutan, o ng kasiyahan, o kahit magjoke ba, sa lahat! Paminsan-minsan nakakaisip din ako na ang galing nila lahat. At ako, wannabe blogger lang din ako na gusto ng attention. Ay teka, totoo yan ha? Gusto ko ng attention, pero ayoko maging wannabe. Di ko type ang Spice Girls. Medyo nagagandahan lang nga ako kay Geri, pero hindi siya ang topic eh.

At ba’t ako nagtatagalog? Lahat ng mga blogs ko ay puro Inggles! Ba’t ako nagtatagalog ngayon?! Oo! Naiinggit din ako! Kasi madami na kayong mga magaling gumamit ng tagalog, at ako, feeling ko hilaw tagalog ko. Kahit magbisaya ako, hilaw pa rin! English na lang! Dahil alam ko dito lang ako magaling. Kasi puros line of 9 (8 minsan) ang nakukuha ko sa mga grado ko nito! Pwes, ang Filipino ko, 75 lang ay masayang masaya na ako. Yes! Pumasa ako! I’m dabesss!

Sa blog ko noon, kung babasahin ko uli, nakakatawa. Parang nag-jajacuzzi ako sa self-pity. Shet! Kawawang kawawa talaga ako tignan basahin. Ganun pala ako. Nagpapakaawa. Emo. Inlab. Bulag. Ihing-ihi. Nahihiya tuloy ako. Gustong gusto ko kasi ng attention, at kahit ano na lang gagawin ko. Nagsusuntok lang ako sa buwan. Wow! Ang lalim ano? Pero sa uutot lang, sino ba talaga ang may ayaw ng attention?

Huwag niyo sanang isipin na nagfifish lang ako ng mga compliments. Sasabihin ko sa inyo, totoo yan. Pero wag niyo lang iisipin, please. Isipin niyo na lang na galit na galit ako sa mundo, at gusto kong tadyakan ang tuhod nito. Hahaha!

May isang katotohanan lang ang lumabas dito: Isa akong maugat na tao. Kung sa wikang Inggles pa, “I’m a very vain person.” Pero sige lang.. Di naman sa lahat ng panahon na galit ako sa mundo. Diba? Galit sa mundo na pala ang tawag niyan no? hahaha!

Ui, parang malayo na tayo sa topic natin. Teka, balik muna tayo.

So ayun, ba’t ba na ang galing ng mga tao? Sa tingin ko dahil kino-compare ko lang ang sarili ko sa iba. Dapat diba lahat tayo may sariling estilo? Baka ngayon I’m still on the verge of looking for my style. Tapos insecure lang ako sa mga trial styles ko etc etc. Sige lang. Expect na lang na ngayon magkaka-variety na rin ang blog ko. Hindi na lang ako parang monotonous na lalaking nagsasalita na parang walang problema. Sige lang. Sige lang. Darating lang din ang panahon.

Thanks for listening reading. I lab u all. Yiheee

Open Letter to Malu Fernandez

We all have heard about Malu Fernandez’s article: fierce and fabulous. She made an article that was very much offensive to our OFWs. And it just so happens that someone named Ingrid Holm wrote an open letter just for her in reply. Kudos to Ingrid Holm. :D Thanks to kaotep for posting this in our forum.

For those who are unfamiliar with the article, here it is:

Part 1

Part 2 

“I’m Fat”

Lights-Camera-Action
Self-proclaimed fat woman: Antaba ko na..
Dru: Hindi kaya.
Self-proclaimed fat woman: O tignan mo nga to! Ang laki ng bilbil ko, diba?
Dru: Bilbil ba tawag mo dyan? Wala lang kaya yan!
Self-proclaimed fat woman: Ah basta mataba ako!
Dru: O sige, mataba ka.
Self-proclaimed fat woman: Ang sama mo! huhuhu

Another Lights-Camera-Action
Chubby woman: Antaba ko na.
Dru: Oo nga.
Chubby woman:

Another another Lights-Camera-Action
Same-size-as-me woman: Antaba ko na.
Dru: Same size lang kaya tayo. Ano ka ba. Mataba rin pala ako?
Same-size-as-me woman: Di kaya! Ang payat mo!
Dru: O, so payat ka rin pala?
Same-size-as-me woman: Hinde. Mataba.

But honestly, I actually find chubby women more attractive.

The Friendster Smile

Friendster is one of the first, if not really the first, internet social networking services to have ever been successful. “Every user creates an online identity by filling out a questionaire profile and uploading a user picture, and then defines a gallery of friends, and the service then integrates these galleries, allowing a user to search through a list of their friends, their friends’ friends, and so on.” – Wikipedia

The Friendster smile is the usual smile you would see here. Do you notice that the pictures always have something in common? They have this certain similar smiling pattern and I have just the steps to get it.

BABALA: Office Scandal!

Hello!

If you want to see a picture of the scandal. Please click this link.

I can’t believe how couples can’t seem to hold anything back anymore. It’s not like I support PMS, but I mean, c’mon, at least get a room!

Disclaimer:
This is a circulating picture. I did not take this in my office, nor do I take ownership of this picture.

For Restaurants: Get Pretty Ordertakers

Lights-Camera-Action
Pretty cashier-lady: Good evening, Sir!
Lovestruck Dru: *thinking* Whoa!
Pretty cashier-lady: Sir?
Lovestruck Dru: Oh hi! I would like a <insert most affordable-expensive meal/s here>.
Pretty cashier-lady: Yes, sir. Would you like fries with that?
Lovestruck Dru: Why yes!
Pretty cashier-lady: Would you like your <insert softdrink here> large?
Lovestruck Dru: Okay.
Pretty cashier-lady: Would you like to have our specialty today? It’s only <insert promo price here>.
Lovestruck Dru: *nods with a smile*
Pretty cashier-lady: Would you also like to have an ice cream sundae?
Lovestruck Dru: Wooh, that would be nice!
Pretty cashier-lady: Is that all, sir?
Lovestruck Dru: Yes.
Pretty cashier-lady: That would be <insert total expensive price here>.
Lovestruck Dru: I’ll take that too.
Pretty cashier-lady: Sir?
Lovestruck Dru: Hmm, I’m not quite sure, but I’ll try that!
Pretty cashier-lady: Excuse me?
Lovestruck Dru: All right.
Pretty cashier-lady: Uhh..
Lovestruck Dru: Sounds nice!